Japa: The Challenge On Friendship

FRIENDSHIPS AND JAPA

As human beings, we are social animals, and relationships are germane to our growth, evolution and mental well-being.

The situation in Nigeria and the massive wave of japa, youths leaving the country and seeking greener pastures has taken a toll on friendships. Almost everyone knows at least one or two people that have left the country this year.

Today, we spoke to some young Nigerians who have friends that have relocated and how that has affected their friendships and how they are dealing with the aftermath.

Tutu: Our Relationship Is Still Intact.

Hadassah: Hi, Tutu. Thank you for doing this with me.

Tutu: Hello Hadassah. My pleasure.

Hadassah: Do you have friends who have left the country this year?

Tutu: Of course, I have friends that have left the country.

Hadassah: Like how many would you say have?

Tutu: There are 3 of them that relocated.

Hadassah: How has the move and distance affected your friendship?

Tutu: Maybe because they just left the country recently, our relationship is still intact.

Hadassah: Which countries did they go to?

Tutu: The first one went to Canada. The other two went to the UK

Hadassah: Do you plan to japa yourself?

Tutu: Yes, I do. To the UK soon, Na money remain 

Hadassah: God go provide

Tutu: Amen

Hadassah: Thank you for your time.

Hanan: I Do Not Feel Left Behind.

Hadassah: Hello, Hanan

Hanan: Hi, Hadassah

Hadassah:   Do you have friends that have left the country this year?

Hanan: Yes, 3 of them actually.

Hadassah: Has the move and distance affected your friendship

Hanan: Yes!!! Omo, it’s very strained. I miss them a lot

Hadassah: How close were you before they left?

Hanan: Very close

Hadassah: It must be tough. Do you feel left behind?

Hanan: No, I do not feel left behind.

Hadassah: Do you think your friendships will find it’s footing again? Maybe not like it was before but maybe less strained?

Hanan: I’m not sure. Feel like distance creates some level of permanent emotional distance

Hadassah: Sigh, Life can be tough

Hanan: Very

Hadassah: Thank you for your honest responses

Hanan: Anytime.

ELIJAH: The Camaraderie Is Still There.

Hadassah: Hey Elijah

Elijah: Hey Hadassah.

Hadassah: Do you have friends who have left the country this year?

Elijah: I’ve had friends and acquaintances leave this year.

Hadassah: About how many of them?

Elijah: Let me say about 4 or 5.

Hadassah: How has this affected or not affected the friendship?

Elijah: I won’t say it’s affected the friendship that much cos we don’t chat every day or anything like that. When we do chat the camaraderie is still there

Hadassah: What about you? Planning to leave anytime soon too?

Elijah: Yes, I do

Hadassah: Thank you for your time.

Deji: There’s No Bad Blood.

Hadassah: Any of your friends japa recently?

Deji: 2 of them actually

Hadassah: Has the distance taken a toll on the friendship?

Deji: Yes, but because I know how travelling can be I understand the lack of communication that followed so I didn’t take it personally as they need time to get accustomed to new environs. but uh communication suffered.

Hadassah: How’d you feel about that? Mad or resigned?

Deji: Resigned because what to do otherwise?

Hadassah: I know right? Thank you for speaking with me.

Rita:  I haven’t Really Felt The Difference.

Hadassah: Hi Rita, how are you?

Rita: Hi there, I am well, thank you.

Hadassah: Has the japa wave hit your friendship group? How many friends have relocated?

Rita: Omo, I don’t know their number o😂

Hadassah: Has it affected your friendship?

Rita: Not so much, to be honest. For the ones that we were close to, we are still close.

Hadassah: How do you keep the friendship alive?

Rita: I am not the type to chat with my friends like every day, I mean, every time people, I just text and check up on them. Even my friends in Nigeria, it’s not like I talk to them like every day, maybe every two days, every three days.

It’s just still the same even if they travelled, even those that have travelled, I just check up on them when I want to and they’ll do the same and we talk. I don’t know, I haven’t really felt the difference for my friends that we were close even before they left Nigeria.

Hadassah: Do you think your friendships will thrive despite the distance?

Rita: Well…as long as talking once a month or two months also counts as it thriving.

Shammy: Omo We Just Move O

Hadassah: Hi girl, how are you? Thank you for doing this with me

Shammy: Hello, I am fine. Thank you. You’re welcome.

Hadassah: It’s a huge japa wave that has hit the country, do you have friends that have relocated?

Shammy: Yes I have quite a lot of friends that have left (does break my heart though)

Hadassah: Gimme a number

Shammy: Let’s say about 5

Hadassah: would you say the distance has strained your relationship?

Shammy: I wouldn’t really say it has strained our relationship but we don’t talk as much as we’d normally have and well that’s sad but it’s for the better yeah?

Hadassah: How are you coping and dealing with this?

Shammy: Omo we just move o 😂

Hadassah: Do you think things will find their balance again?

Shammy: Not really sure tbh, but as long as we keep trying

Hadassah: Thank you so much for your time.

Shammy: You’re welcome

Like people on Twitter will say, Nigeria is Nigerianing and the young ones are just trying to make the very best of the situation. It’s sad that it has and will affect friendships, and relationships. Maybe it’s all part of growing up but it’s still sad and heartbreaking.

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