Oyin: Endsars Was The Last Straw That Forced The Move

It’s never easy to just up and leave, For Oyin, moving to another country from your birth country is never an easy decision to take but sometimes the situation of things in your home country warrants this. For him, the Endsars protest and the killings that happened that October was the last straw. We talk about all of this and how he is settling into his new reality. Here is my conversation with Oyin, a Nigerian who now lives in Ohio, in the US of A.

Hadassah: Where in the USA are you and when did you leave the country?

Oyin: Ohio. And a year and 3 months now.

Hadassah: What has the experience been like?

Oyin: The experience hasn’t been too bad, for the most part good. Of course, moving to a new place, you kind of have to adapt to several things, errm, the obvious one right now would be the weather because I’m in my second winter already but you don’t get used to it.

It’s chilly and nobody tells you about the fact that snow only looks cute in pictures, right after you take pictures, by the second day when the snow starts to get dirty, it’s just messy. You don’t even want to get on the road. It’s not like it’s hard to drive but the roads are slippery and it gets chilly so you don’t want to do that. 

I think another thing I had to adapt to is the different accents. You think you speak fresh English then you get here, and these folks act like they don’t hear you sometimes, which is crazy so you have to repeat. Also, there are people here with certain accents and when they talk to you, it has you wondering “are you speaking English” you’re supposed to be the real Americans. So, there’s that challenge. Then there’s this challenge of “what’s next?”

That’s something that you have to deal with as somebody that is coming from Nigeria, you have to like constantly figure out what’s next, what’s next, what’s next and I mean I don’t think it’s too early to start thinking of what next. I think I started figuring out next before I left Nigeria but it’s like, even though you’re figuring it out, you don’t have the right or perfect.

You constantly just try to figure it out. Maybe you just coming on a green card or permanent residency, which is quite different but every other person has to figure out what’s next, what’s the plan, and what’s the move and it can be quite puzzling.

There is also the job-hunting part. That is mad crazy, not gonna lie. This is a big deal for me because I am a designer. When I was in Nigeria, I did not have issues, you know, getting jobs, asides from my regular job, I had people constantly reaching out, you know, wanting me to jump on projects, right? So, it’s like I had way more than enough projects, then you come to the US and now you have several problems.

First off, everybody in Nigeria now feels like they can’t afford you anymore, which to be honest, maybe they can’t but yeah, they just don’t reach out like that anymore. The limitations on the kind of jobs you can do, especially as an international student, are also there. So it’s not like you can just work like that. I mean, it’s against the rules and IRS and all of that stuff is on you so you can’t just work like that. Also when you try to work after getting a work permit, you start to realise that the resume that you think was dope as f*** is not dope as f***.

Everything kinda works differently. So, it’s a number of tweaks and changing resumes, trying this, trying that before you finally understand the format that works. Except, of course, you have somebody that has been through the process and is willing to help you with that. You just realise that everything works differently and you start to think “bruh, I’m a hot cake in Nigeria, I don’t even have to drop my resume. People try to pitch me in Nigeria” Here, it’s even hard for you to get interviews but eventually if you hack it, it will be good for you.  

I would also say my Nigerian community here has been really really helpful, I think that having a community is really really nice, really really strong. I know people always say that Nigerians don’t show up for each other but, I mean from my own experience that’s a freaking lie, now, well, I can’t say it’s a lie because I wouldn’t want to invalidate people’s thoughts and feelings but yeah, in my own case, that wasn’t true.

I had the Nigerian community show up for me, constantly showing up. They basically made my integration really easy. Before getting my own apartment, I was in someone else’s apartment, eating and all of that. Before I got my car, I had people that would show up for me, all I needed to do was let them know where I needed to be. Having a Nigerian community is very good if you can find one before you leave. 

The last part I’ll talk about is the disconnect that you kinda feel when you leave, which is quite hard, but it is what it is and it’s one of the prices you pay for leaving. A lot of times, I feel a disconnect from my friends in Nigeria and that’s understandable to an extent because nobody wants to feel like I’m the guy you see as the one that started “famzing” after he left Nigeria.

I can tell that people try to hold back from trying to reach me. And on my own end but I am freaking busy, and not to say other people aren’t busy but I am adjusting to a new environment, a new system, I am looking for money, you know, in Nigeria, I used to think I was balling but you get here and it’s a different reality, you don’t even wanna convert your rent to Naira, you’re paying close to 700k per month and this was even at a time when it wasn’t like I had work authorization or anything.

So there was a lot I had to figure out, my life was so busy, and I am trying to figure out things. I mostly only talk to my mum and my brother. Because of all of this, from my end and other people’s end, I can see a lot of my friendships dying. I realise we are going to be there for each other whenever we need each other but it is really quite different. I have an online Nigeria community and I still try to stay connected but the disconnect is really crazy

Hadassah: Are you a student?

Oyin: At the moment no. But at some point, I have plans for a different one. I think in this country you have to constantly be willing to be a student. Either structured settings or not.  If you feel like you have a career goal, studying will help you get there, so yea

Hadassah: Why another MSc and not a PhD?

Oyin: I like research but not research for writing.  PhD requires all of those.  I intend to focus on programs that help me learn. Not write.  You can’t do that with a PhD plus I’m really not interested in doing that for like 4 years of my life.  At least not right now. I’d be bored.  I have two masters right now and I’ll probably add one more.

Hadassah: You already have two masters?

Wow!

Impressive

Oyin: I’d trade it for money. If you have somebody that wants to buy them to design their house 😂

Just kidding

Hadassah: Why did you decide to leave Nigeria?

Oyin: First off I knew my skills would fit better in a different setting.  Before leaving, I had several foreign clients and I knew my skills were good enough for this environment. And at that point, I could afford to go to the gym daily for half my day and pay myself more than a job pays me so why confine myself? 

Now with that, remote working is always a possibility yea but with endsars happening, I was at home in Naija that night and knew I was leaving. Couldn’t deal anymore.  So like I had my plans and all for self-development. But that triggered into full gear I guess. It’s not the only reason I left.

One other reason why I left yea. I did a masters in Nigeria, finished and hadn’t gotten my result in like a year. So it’s still there. I have it but I didn’t even collect it.

Hadassah: What are the things you love about Ohio and living in another country entirely

Oyin: I wouldn’t quite say the things I like are specifically Ohio, I’ll just say it is kinda the same in every state I have been to, I always have my safety as my priority and I am in a safe place. I would say that about the US generally, I just like the fact that first off,  I have 24 hours light which right now feels regular. When I just came, the very first week I came, I always had my phone plugged in.

Hadassah: It’s giving PTSD. The PTSD is real

Oyin: It was oh, I have healed sha. I knew the light wasn’t going to go off, but I still had it plugged in. I think that’s a really big deal for me. I am on my computer 8-9 hours a day so it’s pretty important to me that I don’t have to put on a generator. That’s a big deal.

I like the fact that you are safe, you can just take a drive anywhere and these are the important factors for me when you compare it to Nigeria. I like the fact that you can just travel anywhere. Like the other day, I had a 7-hour drive and there was no problem, just do your driving, if you are tired, find a rest area and just chill for a while and get back on the road.

Those are really big deals for me, good roads. I am not going to lie, there are bad roads too in some places, I have been to a place in Louisiana, and the roads were terrible. 

So, yeah, light, road. 

I also like my Nigerian community but that is also not specific to Ohio. 

For Ohio, I like the fact that it’s not as expensive as some places. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t live in Cali right now. I haven’t been to Cali but I hear it is expensive as f*** and I am not ready to do that. I like the fact that some things are pretty cheap in my area like parking In Ohio is not as expensive as in Chicago, which was way more expensive when I went there. 

There is also the Nigerian food store but I haven’t been there,  I really don’t have the time to do that and also because I don’t like cooking.

I have a comfortable life where I just wanna do my work, make money, sleep, eat good food and just live life and I think for the most part you can do that anywhere, you just have to ensure that you are not living in a place where there are gangs.

Another thing I like is the fact that a lot of things are not discriminated against. Like the kind of job you do doesn’t matter, as long as you are making legit money.  You are not looked down on or anything.  Everyone is just doing their thing. Of course, this is not everyone.  But for the most part, you are just doing you

Hadassah: I’m happy for you. Would you come back to Nigeria?

Oyin: Lol yes na. My family is there and all of that.  At this stage of my life though, I’m a sojourner so I’m still here and there, exploring the world and exchanging my skills for the type of life I want.

Hadassah: But would you move back?

Oyin: Hehe. For full resettling I dunno o. I’m still moving around sha. That’s far away.

Hadassah: Final question, if a Nigerian moves to Ohio right now, mention some places they could go for fun.

Oyin: Three big Cs. Cincinnati. Columbus and Cleveland.  So many diff things in between them. Shows too. Like this year I’ve seen FIREBOY, AG and Tiwa. Artists are always touring.  You might have to be open to new things too, to adapt to the yankee crowd. Go to basketball games, try skating, different cuisines from other cultures, parks and stuff.

Also, I’ll say, the first few months can be hard. But don’t fret, it gets mad easier. I was told that and I still had my doubts but it does get easier.  So one day at a time and ease in.

And I know people say it’s lonely but it’s not, to be honest.  You might not see your “marriage spec” but you will be fine and have companionship easily if you want.  At least from my experience.

And if you are lucky, you’ll end up finding too 🙂

Hadassah: Thank you so much

It has been amazing talking to you, thank you for your time, wishing you all the best in your journey.