Everything You Wanted to Know As A Lagos Newbie and Were Too Embarrassed to Ask

Lagos Newbie, you be jolly jus come.

Lagos, my Lagos!!!

Eko Akete, Ilu ogbon. Lagos the land of wisdom.

So much can be said about Lagos. Lagos is the New York, the Los Angeles Nigeria. Lagos is where the dreams come to reality, Lagos is where the money is or so they will tell you. 

The second most popular city in Africa and the largest city in Nigeria with a population of over 24 million people which is more than the population of countries like Ecuador, Netherlands, and Cambodia to mention a few. 

Lagos is the hub of so many things which includes jobs, entertainment, tech, trade and so much more. There is a certain Hustle spirit that you can feel in Lagos, it is a city bursting with the work hard, the get-rich spirit. It is a very bubbling environment where everything is fast, fast, fast, fast. It’s a constant nonstop whirl. People are always rushing, always on the go, always wanting to do the next big thing, wanting to be the next big thing, and trying to meet people that can change stories.

There are people who would tell you that if you want to be rich and you want to make a way for yourself, make a name for yourself, come to Lagos. This has been depicted in so many Nollywood movies where you would see the young people carry “Ghana must go bags” from the village to Lagos and a couple of years later go back to the village in cars. 

The economy here is booming, real estate is crazy expensive, feeding is expensive and people will tell you that is why they love Lagos. Known for its common sights like the molue {yellow bus}, the conductors, and the vendors who sell everything you can think of in Lagos traffic which includes pizza, mirrors, teddy bears, snacks, and gadgets, the list is quite endless. Everybody wants to come to Lagos, Lagos is where it’s happening for young people in different sectors, it is known as a city that never sleeps.

With popular places like the computer village where you can get any gadgets, Ikoyi and Banana Island, which is the hub of the rich, Eko Idumota market where different vendors from all over Nigeria come to buy items in wholesale, The beautiful beaches, the overpriced restaurant and glittery nightlife, Lagos truly never sleeps.

Anybody would tell you that Lagos is a crazy and fun place to be, life here is fast, but it is one that pushes you not to sit on your laurels and encourages you to work hard because if you don’t, you cannot survive. Now as a Lagos newbie moving here for the first time or maybe you’re just visiting, how do you survive in Lagos?

 Everything you need to survive Lagos will be listed for you in this article, including different tips and tricks, the mundane and not-so-mundane and I couldn’t do it all alone I had to talk to people who have been living in Lagos and ask them to give me tips to give to you.

 Tips For A Lagos Newbie Entering The Mega City For The First Time

• Don’t Enter The Sienna Vehicles

Hold on, I’ll explain, you may be wondering why Sienna. I’ll tell you. Sienna vehicles are usually seen as kidnap vehicles in Lagos. A lot of times when you would hear that people in Lagos either got kidnapped or got robbed is usually with Sienna vehicles. There is no scientific explanation to back this up, but it’s better to be safe than sorry so if you are at a bus stop and a Sienna car drives up to you and offers to take you to where you’re going, it is it advisable that you do not go with the Sienna and instead go with the registered public transport buses for Lagos.

Don’t enter sienna https://t.co/NJEIXk7oBj

— Calypso Chi Chi (@CO_Chiamaka) January 19, 2023

Never enter a Sienna bus on the road. And then add all the pieces of advice @lollypeezle shared about public transport some weeks back.

— @ashleyparklady’s boo (@TheMayorOfLagos) January 19, 2023

• Always Shine Your Eyes

As a Lagos newbie, you gats open your eyes. Be very vigilant and conscious. A good explanation of this is that while you’re in Lagos you need to be smart, you need to be conscious of your environment. You have to drop your naivety, watch out and also watch your back.

Always shine your eyes

— Professor Labamba (@BadmanFreke) January 19, 2023

• Follow Who Know Road But Hold Your Transport Fare 

The short explanation for this is that don’t be afraid to network, make friends with people, ask questions, and socialise but also remember that you are responsible for yourself and be prepared for whatever the outcome of the situation might be. Nobody is going to mollycoddle you, so while you’re socialising and networking, remember to be content and work within your means and your budget and whatever it is you are getting into is what you can afford to pay for.

Follow who know road, but hold your tfare.

— . (@SteffieAdie) January 19, 2023

Catch up with the people that know road

— pretty Gold D food vendor 🔱🔱 (@AdepojuAdebisi4) January 19, 2023

• Leave Your House Earlier To Beat The Traffic

Lagos traffic will humble you. I don’t know who you are Lagos traffic will humble you. Lagos traffic doesn’t care about who you are, if you’re caught in it, you’re caught in it. As a Lagos newbie, you should know that one of the ways to beat this is to actually leave your house as early as possible. Some people actually leave the house as early as 3 am, or 4 am, to be able to beat traffic and get to work on time, especially those who might live on the mainland and work on the island or vice versa.

The best way to deal with this is to leave ahead of time before the rush hour and also to know alternative routes, especially through the streets which would always help you if you’re driving or you are using a car hire.

go earlier, better to beat traffic and be stable than deal with traffic

— AC (@turnedoutAC) January 19, 2023

know alternative routes, especially the streets

— AC (@turnedoutAC) January 19, 2023

• Don’t Be Afraid To Demand Your Rights

One thing a lot of Lagosians will do is try to take you for granted, they will try to see how much they can get away with or maybe it’s how much you are willing to let them get away with and this goes from the bus conductors, to the drivers, to artisans and so much more. And sometimes they can smell fresh blood from a mile away, they just know that this person is a Lagos newbie and are ready to try you.

In Lagos, you have to be willing to show them that you will not sit down taking it. Do not be shy, do not be afraid to speak up and demand to be treated right and also to demand your rights. You have to learn to be firm in Lagos or else everybody will walk all over you like a doormat.

And don’t look at Uche’s face too 💀

— Professor Labamba (@BadmanFreke) January 19, 2023

No matter how nice you are, display occasionally signs of craziness so they don’t take you for a ride.

— @ashleyparklady’s boo (@TheMayorOfLagos) January 19, 2023

Whatever you do, don’t be the bigger person. Make sure you carry craze in your handbag, if you don’t have you can get at Yaba left. For free. https://t.co/gp4OeKXXEm

— Big Bolanle🌸 (@Big_Beeh) January 19, 2023

Share Your Location And Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Directions

Safety and security reasons demand that you share your location with friends or family while you’re going out and you should also not be afraid to ask for directions from people. As a Lagos newbie, it is advisable that you ask directions from either the vendors selling on the street or the policeman directing in traffic all the traffic wardens. It is not always the smartest thing to talk to people walking by on the streets of Lagos, it is an easy way to get robbed or worse and a lot of them might even ignore you in a bid to protect themselves.

Always ask more than three persons for direction. Sometimes the first person you ask may be wrong

— cheemekz (@Cheemekzzz) January 19, 2023

always share your location with your friends or family https://t.co/Ly4pJefW9R

— Peekaaboo (@_peekaaboo_) January 19, 2023

Other tips you should know as a Lagos newbie include;

When you go to Yaba market and the trader gives you a price, divide the amount by 2, remove N500 and start pricing from there.

E.g:
Trader: this yam na 5k
You: na 2k I get oh https://t.co/gp4OeKXpOO

— Big Bolanle🌸 (@Big_Beeh) January 19, 2023

Get ready to be called ashawo a lot if you’re a woman.

Once you accept “all of us ashawo”, the title will mean nothing. https://t.co/gp4OeKXpOO

— Big Bolanle🌸 (@Big_Beeh) January 19, 2023

Get a place to stay. Very important.

— #IhateMondays (@AnonymousTamz) January 19, 2023

Rule number 3,always make friends and settle the agberos in your hood, they help make life easier

— Professor Labamba (@BadmanFreke) January 19, 2023

If you have someone in Lagos, let the person put your safety first o! Phone lines have to be on 24/7.

Dress simple. No be your papa get Lagos🙄

— HRM Akpan-Akpan Asuquo I (@Triple_Akpan) January 19, 2023